Wasted Years, Was it all My Fault ?

Hi ! Recently I've been told, maybe thousands of Times that I am Responsible for the wasted years in my Life.
So, Is this Really True ?

Let me Retrace my Steps.
I'll Discuss some Details and Leave others to be Discussed Individually.


Religious Education.

Life started with such a promise.I Received the Loved by my Close Relations in Life.
Till my third Grade, I was a Brilliant Student.
After my third Grade, I was taken out of the school and sent to have Religious Education.
I didn't wanna do that but I was made to do that.
Had a Stroke of Bad Luck, the Institutes I found were Racist and Self Reclaimed Institutes.They weren't even certified like Real institutes do.
No one tried to look over this Detail.and this Cost me Dearly.


In that Period, I endured a lot of Torture.This time, it was Physical.
We Students were punished by Extreme means if we even forgot one word.
Common Methods were by Hands, Sticks etc.

There was this Nasty Accident, One of our Fellow almost got his Eye out.Stick Slipped through Butcher's (Teacher's) Hand and hit our fellow student very near to his eye.After that, his Father got him out of there.
(Be Safe, wherever you are)

Besides those Institutes, I also had to Study from some Teachers, Three of them were Good for me, Others were Brutal.


I will Never Forgive you.

One of them was the Most Brutal of them all.
He was always mean to me, making Jokes on My Color, Beating me on Mistakes.
He tried many Methods, Like Slapping me, punching me, Beating me with Sticks, sometimes he gave me a Kick with his Shoes on, on his way out.
One of those hits lasted Longer than others.He kicked me in my Leg that hit the Shin Bone with quite some force, with his boot on, I could Feel the Pain for about Two Months.
Must 've gotten it Damaged Badly at some point or maybe some Muscle, who knows ?

But this is nothing, If I start talking about this matter only, this will take a lot of space so as mentioned before, I'll leaver other details for later.

School was Fine.

I couldn't Finish it in Times 'casue of these mishaps so I finished it in 5 Years.
I was in Third Grade when I was taken out of the School and I came back to school Education in the Sixth Grade.
I couldn't even tell the whole Alphabets , couldn't even Remember my English Lessons.

My English Teacher was Disappointed, She said how is this boy ever gonna pass ?
In my Fist Term, I got 74 out of 100 Marks and my Teacher was Surprised, but not as much as she was Happy about it.
She really was a kind soul.Her Sister was our Chemistry Teacher.
Both Sisters were my Favorite Teachers, kind, Caring, very Thoughtful.
They Passed away some years ago in a Road Accident.
R.I.P my teachers, I still Miss you.

Keep on Playing with my Life, Its a Toy.

I had a 5 Years Gap to cover, so I continued till I passed my 10thGrade Exam in 2002.
And I passed my Fine Arts Exam in 2006.
This wasn't supposed to be this way, I should've passed Fine Arts Exam in 2004.
So what really happened ?
I had a Great Interest in Computer Sciences but Big ones of the Family forced me to have Pre-Medical Subject combination , I told them that I want to skip Chemistry and Biology, so I couldn't possibly be doing Pre-Medical.
My Chemistry was weak and since I passed my 10th Grade in Computer Sciences, I didn't know anything about Vital Concepts about Biology.
Some Relatives were too Good to tell my family that they were doing a great thing by forcing me like this.I was put under so much pressure that I had to accept it, since I didn't have any choice.
I don't know what people get out of messing someone's life like this.

Enough, Let me do something with my Life.

After three consecutive Failures, I got uptight with everyone and Selected Fine Arts Subjects and you'll be surprised to know what happened.
I started preparing for my exams a month before exams were gonna start.
When we go out there to conduct the first Exams, Almost everyone was shocked to see that exam was according to old Syllabus.
This wasn't specified anywhere on forms or any other place that Private candidates must conduct the exams according to old Syllabus.

I had prepared according to the New Pattern, so Did the Majority of the Students.
It was really scary to see most people going out after handing Blank papers and the looks on their faces were too painful to see.
Since Compulsory subjects in Fine Arts and Pre-Medical are same so I still had some knowledge Fresh in my mind.
I conducted that Exam somehow and after coming home, I told my Uncle (Mentioned in my post "My Close Relations in Life" under the Heading of "Larger than Life") about it.
He accompanied to the market but we couldn't find the old books in the shops.
We tried the stores that gives Second hand old books, I was surprised to see how many of the students were there to get old books, boys and girls.
Education Board really messed up the Students.

I started preparing each book a Night before each Exam.It was like doing something Impossible.To Cover a whole different book in one night wasn't Easy, Believe me.
But when the Result came out, I passed.
This was surprising for others as well as for me.

One and a Half Years got wasted in this Hassle.



Shouldn't we Learn from Previous Mistakes ?

Then there was this Graduation Degree I had to Achieve.
Again I was Forced to Choose Statistics.This subjects involves a Huge Math and yet it is entirely Different.
If I would've been doing statistics before then I could do this easily, but Like Biology before, I had to study this subject.I couldn't pass it.
Another Year wasted in this Hassle., Yet Again.
I am still struggling to achieve this Degree, this is my Last Chance.
If I get that Degree, I can get out of my Country, I can be Free at last.



Can I get my Precious Time back ?

5 + 1 and (1/2) + 1 = 7 and a Half Years
7 and a Half Years of my Life were being wasted.
So that means if I wouldn't have been taken out of School and haven't been Forced to do the subjects that I couldn't handle, I would've been able to establish a Successful Career until now.

What did I get out of this at all ?
My Depleting interest in Being Alive ?
I am loosing my Interest in Life.
Its only the slightest hope that is making me Hold on to this Life, but for how Long ?


My Appeal is to all Parents/Caretakers, "For Heaven's sake, Please Think of the Consequences before you play with a person's Life like this".


*Note : I Don't Hate Religion just because of these things in my life, Just because of some Idiots, I can't blame everyone.


Thanks for Reading.

Peace and Love.