I am Back, But ..... Is this Really Me ?

Hi ! Latest Events or My Life has messed up everything I've been going after.

I have quite a bit of Imagination in me so let me put it this way, I am Reforming/Redefining myself.

* Remove Feelings about The Only One you ever Loved ........... 40 % Success
   (Not Enough, but better than before)

* Implementing some Dark Behavior ............ 32 % Success

* Active Response System in any case of  Physical / Mental Torture ............. Standby
  --> Active Response System Level ............. Critical

* Anti Emotional Blackmailing Measure .............. Implementing Now
  --> Inserting Blank Emotions .............. 60 % Success

* Forget Many Individuals / Events from Past .............. Searching for Measures
  --> Meeting with a Psychiatrist to get Hypnotic Suggestions to Forget those Individual / Events ............. Scheduled

* Level of Care for Innocents around me ............. Critical

* Get Brute Strength back ................ Scheduled to Process

* Redefining Obedience Level ................ High --> Processing --> Low



This'll make me Aggressive to this Level (I Hope you get the Idea) : 

" God knows I hate to lose my real self but in order to give the good ones around me a chance, I need to do this.

I just hate the Selfish Human Gestures that Makes the Life of others like Hell.

Its Like We Humans(Majority, not All) Never  Learn that Life is much more than doing something for ourselves.

Real Humans Care more about others, than they care about themselves.

The Sorry State we Humans(Majority, not All) are in nowadays, fills me with Disgust.We are Greedy, Selfish, Liars.We Never Appreciate the Love and Care of others, we Take Advantage of it. "



I wonder when will they Learn that if they Bother someone too much, they're gonna put Hatred in someone's Heart and She/He can come back and give them the taste of their own Medicine.
Its like they always dig a hole for themselves but they never Learn.

I just Hope that one day I get my Real Self back, I don't wanna spend my whole Life like this.

Peace and Love for Innocents.

Why They Always Try to Stomp a Fallen One ?

Hi ! My Personal Experience shows that the moments of Joy are very short, for some people.

Yes, I was Highly Motivated but I've been Turned down now.
So Many Consecutive Events in these days have Broken My Back.

From 19-23 September, 2009
I've been facing so many Problems that it is difficult to hold myself together.

Worst of them was something done by a person who was supposed to be the Best One in the whole family(Relatives), which started a chain of Events, that destroyed the Most Beautiful Chapter in My Life.
How can I ever Forgive him for doing that ?

No one wants to dig up in the events of some one's life.
They only Blame Her/Him for the things they see but they never try to look for the reasons that made accused one to do that, maybe the accused one is innocent.

I really don't know what to do, I feel like a person who has been left all alone in the Darkness.
I am Scared, like a Lost Child.

Why aren't we allowed to End it all at once ?
Why can't we simply be Relieved from our Pain once and for all ?

There goes the Light of My Life, I am going after it.

I can't write everything right now but I must add this blog entry.
Among all the dark and gloom in my life lately, there is a little RAY / LIGHT.
And that is gonna keep me going.

I've just found the Purpose of My Life.Its not something, but SOMEONE.

Sorry, But I've gotta go now, Must Study to kill this Exam, not myself.

Love is Such a Powerful thing, It can get you in working order in just a matter of seconds.

Please God, Let me succeed, I don't wanna loose HER before I even get to be with HER.


Didn't I tell you this could Motivate me like a Non-Stop working Robot ?
OK OK, I'll go now.

Ciao.

Why was I Tortured like this ? What is happening to me ?

Hi ! I Believe that the Self Confidence and Good Refreshing Memories are the Most Important things in one's Life.
When a person is depressed, She/He remembers her/his Past to get through the Difficult Times by Remembering the Good Ones.
I try to do the same thing but Bad Memories keep covering the good ones like Dark Clouds.

So What Destroyed my Self Confidence ?


Lets See :

* Being thrown at Walls, like some useless object.
One Mistake and BAM, lets Play Bowling with this Child.
Nice way to Build up the Confidence of a Child, Right ?


* Seeing my Own skin getting peeled off my Arm.
This Happened when I was making mistakes in lesson again and again 'cause it was late in the Night and I could barely keep my eyes open.
I was beaten with a Wooden Badminton Racket, after quite some beating, Racket got Broken.
But the Beating didn't stop (Broken Racket with Sharp Pieces of Wood sticking out hurts more), until my Skin got peeled off from a couple of spots on my Arm (Right where the Arm Muscle meets the Shoulder one).


* Being beaten with a stick whenever I made a mistake.
So, can't you Endure a little beating ?
Yes ! Of course you can, if you aren't getting hit with full force on your Hands, Arms, Legs and Back.
And how would you like if you also get hit on your Feet too ? Do you know how much it hurts if someone steps over your foot with some Force ?
If so, then Imagine how I would've felt when I was getting hit on my Feet again and again ? And with a lot of force too ?

Oh, And being Poked in the Chest with the Same stick using Excessive Force, Is it an Essential part of Confidence Building too ?
If so, then I must have all the confidence in the world.


* Being Threatened by a Knife just because I couldn't remember my Lesson of the day.
Can you Imagine how a Child would've felt with all that ? Unless you were that Child.

If this wasn't so Bad, A Knife was thrown at me in Anger because I still couldn't Remember my Lesson, Could you ?
Though it was thrown just to threaten me more, I still Wonder Why that Knife Missed ?
If it would've hit me, I could've been Relieved from all of my Problems and Pain.(Or So I Think)



* I was being Locked down in a Dark Store Room, then Lights turned off from the outside.
Would you like to be Locked Down like this ? Is this alright ?


* Being kept outside in the Dark as a Punishment and I was Crying and Wailing to please open the Door but it wouldn't open until after a long time.


I was so Afraid in the years later on, that I couldn't stand up for my Rights.
My Self Confidence was destroyed.
I shook badly whenever I had to talk to people about anything.
Took me many years to Recover up to some extent.



Going Insane ? What is Happening to me ?

In the Summer Season of Year 2008, My Family had to move to another city for some months.
I was all Alone in the House.Things weren't good in general, Electric/Power Failures were just too much.
In the Dead of the Night when there was No Power, I always walked outside of my house with my Walkman Phone or PSP in my Hand (Can't live without Music), despite of the fact that it is Dangerous to walk like this, after 01:00 AM.
If someone tries to grab your stuff and you Resist, you can be killed.

Someone asked me later, Aren't you afraid of being all alone in the house all the Time ?
Watching over a house big enough and so Vulnerable to Robbers isn't a piece of cake, since these walls can easily be climbed and doors can easily be broken.
Was that the sudden burst of courage ? 
No, this is what we call "Going Insane".
I am not Brave, I am Insane.
What is our Ultimate fear ? More or Less, Its the Death.
I don't have this Fear anymore since my Interest in being Alive is very Limited Right now.

Problem is, Nothing bad happens to you when You really want it to.

For Now, I am holding on to a Slight Hope, but for how Longer, that I don't know.
I want to keep Fighting but this isn't easy with 90% of Self Confidence being destroyed in the Childhood.



Why I am not Ending it all ?

Lately, I've thought about Committing the Suicide after about every 15 Minutes.
I even tested Sleeping Pills on me.They don't work in small doses on me.Whenever I am Sleepless, I have to take 3 of them to get some Sleep, 1 Pill simply doesn't work for me.
I can End My Life at anytime with this Non-Messy Method, what is it that is Stopping me from doing that ?
Its a thing called Hope, Its so Little that I can barely Feel it but I am Clinging to it.
Maybe things will be better in the Future (If I'll have any).


Thanks for Bearing with me.

Peace and Love.

Wasted Years, Was it all My Fault ?

Hi ! Recently I've been told, maybe thousands of Times that I am Responsible for the wasted years in my Life.
So, Is this Really True ?

Let me Retrace my Steps.
I'll Discuss some Details and Leave others to be Discussed Individually.


Religious Education.

Life started with such a promise.I Received the Loved by my Close Relations in Life.
Till my third Grade, I was a Brilliant Student.
After my third Grade, I was taken out of the school and sent to have Religious Education.
I didn't wanna do that but I was made to do that.
Had a Stroke of Bad Luck, the Institutes I found were Racist and Self Reclaimed Institutes.They weren't even certified like Real institutes do.
No one tried to look over this Detail.and this Cost me Dearly.


In that Period, I endured a lot of Torture.This time, it was Physical.
We Students were punished by Extreme means if we even forgot one word.
Common Methods were by Hands, Sticks etc.

There was this Nasty Accident, One of our Fellow almost got his Eye out.Stick Slipped through Butcher's (Teacher's) Hand and hit our fellow student very near to his eye.After that, his Father got him out of there.
(Be Safe, wherever you are)

Besides those Institutes, I also had to Study from some Teachers, Three of them were Good for me, Others were Brutal.


I will Never Forgive you.

One of them was the Most Brutal of them all.
He was always mean to me, making Jokes on My Color, Beating me on Mistakes.
He tried many Methods, Like Slapping me, punching me, Beating me with Sticks, sometimes he gave me a Kick with his Shoes on, on his way out.
One of those hits lasted Longer than others.He kicked me in my Leg that hit the Shin Bone with quite some force, with his boot on, I could Feel the Pain for about Two Months.
Must 've gotten it Damaged Badly at some point or maybe some Muscle, who knows ?

But this is nothing, If I start talking about this matter only, this will take a lot of space so as mentioned before, I'll leaver other details for later.

School was Fine.

I couldn't Finish it in Times 'casue of these mishaps so I finished it in 5 Years.
I was in Third Grade when I was taken out of the School and I came back to school Education in the Sixth Grade.
I couldn't even tell the whole Alphabets , couldn't even Remember my English Lessons.

My English Teacher was Disappointed, She said how is this boy ever gonna pass ?
In my Fist Term, I got 74 out of 100 Marks and my Teacher was Surprised, but not as much as she was Happy about it.
She really was a kind soul.Her Sister was our Chemistry Teacher.
Both Sisters were my Favorite Teachers, kind, Caring, very Thoughtful.
They Passed away some years ago in a Road Accident.
R.I.P my teachers, I still Miss you.

Keep on Playing with my Life, Its a Toy.

I had a 5 Years Gap to cover, so I continued till I passed my 10thGrade Exam in 2002.
And I passed my Fine Arts Exam in 2006.
This wasn't supposed to be this way, I should've passed Fine Arts Exam in 2004.
So what really happened ?
I had a Great Interest in Computer Sciences but Big ones of the Family forced me to have Pre-Medical Subject combination , I told them that I want to skip Chemistry and Biology, so I couldn't possibly be doing Pre-Medical.
My Chemistry was weak and since I passed my 10th Grade in Computer Sciences, I didn't know anything about Vital Concepts about Biology.
Some Relatives were too Good to tell my family that they were doing a great thing by forcing me like this.I was put under so much pressure that I had to accept it, since I didn't have any choice.
I don't know what people get out of messing someone's life like this.

Enough, Let me do something with my Life.

After three consecutive Failures, I got uptight with everyone and Selected Fine Arts Subjects and you'll be surprised to know what happened.
I started preparing for my exams a month before exams were gonna start.
When we go out there to conduct the first Exams, Almost everyone was shocked to see that exam was according to old Syllabus.
This wasn't specified anywhere on forms or any other place that Private candidates must conduct the exams according to old Syllabus.

I had prepared according to the New Pattern, so Did the Majority of the Students.
It was really scary to see most people going out after handing Blank papers and the looks on their faces were too painful to see.
Since Compulsory subjects in Fine Arts and Pre-Medical are same so I still had some knowledge Fresh in my mind.
I conducted that Exam somehow and after coming home, I told my Uncle (Mentioned in my post "My Close Relations in Life" under the Heading of "Larger than Life") about it.
He accompanied to the market but we couldn't find the old books in the shops.
We tried the stores that gives Second hand old books, I was surprised to see how many of the students were there to get old books, boys and girls.
Education Board really messed up the Students.

I started preparing each book a Night before each Exam.It was like doing something Impossible.To Cover a whole different book in one night wasn't Easy, Believe me.
But when the Result came out, I passed.
This was surprising for others as well as for me.

One and a Half Years got wasted in this Hassle.



Shouldn't we Learn from Previous Mistakes ?

Then there was this Graduation Degree I had to Achieve.
Again I was Forced to Choose Statistics.This subjects involves a Huge Math and yet it is entirely Different.
If I would've been doing statistics before then I could do this easily, but Like Biology before, I had to study this subject.I couldn't pass it.
Another Year wasted in this Hassle., Yet Again.
I am still struggling to achieve this Degree, this is my Last Chance.
If I get that Degree, I can get out of my Country, I can be Free at last.



Can I get my Precious Time back ?

5 + 1 and (1/2) + 1 = 7 and a Half Years
7 and a Half Years of my Life were being wasted.
So that means if I wouldn't have been taken out of School and haven't been Forced to do the subjects that I couldn't handle, I would've been able to establish a Successful Career until now.

What did I get out of this at all ?
My Depleting interest in Being Alive ?
I am loosing my Interest in Life.
Its only the slightest hope that is making me Hold on to this Life, but for how Long ?


My Appeal is to all Parents/Caretakers, "For Heaven's sake, Please Think of the Consequences before you play with a person's Life like this".


*Note : I Don't Hate Religion just because of these things in my life, Just because of some Idiots, I can't blame everyone.


Thanks for Reading.

Peace and Love.

Mother Wolf really knows her Cubs

Hi ! The Community I am a part of, is the Nicest one on the whole Internet.
I've been to some Communities before But I've never found such a Nice community before.
In this community, where I met many great and friendly people, I met someone very special in particular.
She is like our Mother Wolf and we are her Cubs.
I call her Sister, since she feels like an Elder Sister I never had.

Since I am free to Wail, Moan and even BAWL on the forums if I am feeling bad, she talked to me about it and I am still trying to figure out how she got right on target.
Maybe she has Mysterious Powers.



 

Posting Her very words with her Permission :

"you are a nice guy guardian, an unhappy one, but nevertheless nice. on the unhappiness factor, allow me a remark please, on account of me being in an age that i have lived through most of the things that are bothering you now: seek happiness in your personal relations. i know, this sounds to you egoistical, but this isnt meant so my bro. to fight for the world, you must have your own solid base to begin with.


this is what i would have told my son: find a nice girl, that you can love and be loved by her and than start the crusade.


with love


asterolykos"

(By Crusade, she meant whatever struggle I was doing, Please don't take this to Religious side.Thanks you.)


I told her that there are many Problems in doing so.
According to my calculations this can Do wonders for me but I feel like I'll be destroying someone's Life, wonder why I feel that way ?
Or Lets say that I've already tasted it in the Past but it didn't turn out very well, haven't recovered from it yet.
(Like Racism wasn't Bad Enough Already)
Darn People.

Then there are my Parents, if I do something like this, people (Too Narrow Minded here) will keep taunting them Indirectly.
Worst of them will be the Relatives.
Since I am Famous (In a Very Negative way, but nevertheless , Famous) among them due to my Open Minded and Straight Forward thoughts, I am their Favorite Target.





I don't care what people say about me but I'll hate it if a person that is related to me, have to listen to such things, just because of me.
Not to mention that my Dad will Kill or Almost Kill me, or at least he can Break my Legs.





Some of these Reasons and Some of my own Depleting Interest in Life / Being Alive is making me not to even think about it.
But I still have a Slightest Hope, that things will be better again, maybe.


In the End all I can say is that Mother Wolf really knows her cubs.
She was Right on Target but My Hands are Tied, Feet too.
They Forgot to Tie my Mouth though.







But there is still Hope, Slightest but there is.

Thanks for Reading.

Peace and Love.

Was He Trying to Travel 85+ Miles on a Bicyle ?

Hi ! The Memory I am gonna share with you, happened during my 2nd Year of college.
(God, I hate that Period, Feels like a Nightmare)
The Reasons I am gonna write about this are
1. Sharing this memory will Ease my Mind off a little bit.Every little bit helps, you know.
2. This will make you Appreciate your Life if you Don't.


This all started when things were getting pretty worse, I was getting Extreme Levels of Racism and Hate in and outside of College.
My Studies went into the pits at that Moment, due to the Mental Torture from classmates, I was in the Shambles.
A lot more Afraid than usual, Afraid that what will I answer about Studies ?
A couple of days passed in Confusion, then something came into my mind, Dangerous but who listens to the Reason when they are Angry or Afraid ?
So I decided to Head back to my Grandma's city, Grandma passed away long ago but I still felt like I had no place to go except there.

Whats so Special about going to another city, you may ask.
Special thing was that I decided to do this on a Bicycle, in Cold Weather, with a bag filled with my stuff hanging on my back.
Mine kinda looked like this, Link.
Distance between my starting location and my Destination was approximately 85.79 miles to 93.25 miles.
Crazy, eh ?


Lets Ride :

With only 80 Rupees(0.96 USD) in my pocket (couldn't even cover my fare if I had to take a Bus), I Started my Journy without telling anyone, went out to go to College but headed outside the City instead, Traveled some Miles on Forever Broken Road.



Could this go any Smoother than this ?  :

Things were gonna go smoothly if Axl and Bearings of my Bicycle could withstand the broken Road (Most of the Roads are Generally like this here).
Where my Bicycle Got busted, there was no Mechanic and no parts shop that could supply me with my Bicycle  parts.
Found a Mechanic after some search, he tried but couldn't fix it.So I put it on the Roof of a Local Bus ( You'll be surprised to know the things that Can happen here ), I thought maybe I'll end up in the Big City where I could get my Bicycle Fixed.



Perfect, Just Perfect :

But my Cursed Luck, Bus Broke down, we had to take another bus that took us to a small city, Money was Depleting, there I found another Bus, don't ask how long it took to get to that big city but I got there.



Where to Now, Genius ?

Checked the Money, only 10 Rupees(0.12 USD) were Left.
Luckily I knew someone in that city so I thought I should Borrow some money from that person.
Only Problem was that the person lived 2.5 Miles from my Location where I was standing.
My Bicycle couldn't even move Normally so I had to Semi-Drag it to that place, on Foot.
Reached the Destination, Stayed for some Time, Drank some Water, Thanked and headed for the Grandma's city.
Reason I didn't get my bike fixed was that I thought " Maybe I can make it to where I was heading, so instead of wasting time there, lets Find another Bus Roof ".



Rerouting :

Darkness was growing, Night was just about half an hour away, found out that there was no Possible way to get a bus that could take me and my Bicycle to my Main Destination.
Changed my Route, Decided to Head towards another small city where I could get some way to reach Grandma's City.
I got there while sitting on the Roof of the Bus with my Bicycle ( People do that too, here ), Cold weather was killing me but I stayed with the Bicycle, afraid that I may loose it.
Feels like a Child Lost in a Crowd hanging to his stuff, Doesn't it ?



Thank you Kind Mechanic :

When I got there, It was the Night Time already, I met a Good Mechanic who fixed my Bicycle to some extent, in a Reasonable Price too.
I asked him if he could give me the Directions to the Road leading outside the City that will take me to My Final Destination.
Yeah ! I was thinking about traveling via Road on my Bicycle at Night that is Deserted at that time just because thats an Extremely Hostile Area.
These were the Words of Mechanic to me :

"Do you wanna get killed ? If so, why don't you choose an Easy way to do that ?

Do you know how many Robbers you'll find at this time ? They'll kill you even if they don't find some good stuff from you".

I asked him if I had any other options or I was going to ask someone anyway since I didn't have a Choice, He told me that I could get a Train from here and he was kind Enough to get my Bicycle on Train too.

In the Midst of our conversation a person poped out of the Corner and said that I should go with him, he lives in the Village nearby and I can sleep over and continue my Journey in the Morning.
In an instant, I refused.(Later, My cousin told me that it was a Wise Decision, 'cause that person cold Slit my Throat, he could be the same as robbers, the kind Mechanic wanted me to Avoid)

Kind Mechanic accompanied me to the Train Station and arranged my Bicycle to be on the Train, He had some Contacts in the Local Train Staition.I thanked him for all this Kindness and after some time I was on the Train.



Are we there Yet ? Yes ....... Finally :

Rest was the Only Easy part, I had in this Crazy Day.
Reached Grandma's city but went straight to the Home of my Father's sister, my kind cousins gathered around and asked what happened, told 'em everything later.


Not a Good thing to do huh ? No one tries to Dig up to the Roots of such Events.
No one tries to understand why someone tries such Insane things.
Generally, Victim ends up in getting the Blame.


If You've suffered through your life, you've my sympathies, I totally understand.

For Heaven's sake, Think before you target a person with Racism, think before you Mentally Torture someone so much that she/he looses Sanity.

Don't Try this at Home, or anywhere else for that matter.

Thanks for Reading.

Peace and Love.

Love in Indo-Pak Region (XD)

Hi ! A Funny Topic to Write about at last

My Sympathies for these poor souls, always seeking the Love of their Lives and always coming back with Black Eyes and Broken Wills, Bones too.


Somethings you should keep in Mind :

* Don't Propose a Girl Directly, otherwise be prepared to get Slapped into the Next World.

* Don't Follow a Girl in Public.If you do, Split at the Right time, otherwise too many Heroes will pop out of Thin Air to save the Girl.Now Think about it, they'll save the Girl but who'll save you ?
(Who do you think needs the Saving in this case?)


* Don't go After a Girl with Too many Brute Brothers, Retired Army Drill Sergeant Father and Ox like Cousins.Believe me, this is very Hazardeous for your Health and after they'll be done with you, your Moaning won't let even your Neighbors sleep at night, or day for that matter.

* Even in Posh/Rich Areas, Girl will pretend that She likes you




but when Girl seekers will go there with their Tongues Hanging outside, Girls will release their Canine brothers on them and the Outcome won't be pretty.

* Its always wise to Stack up the Medical supplies before you start seeking the Love of your Life, you WILL Thank me later for this Advice, Believe me.


* If you are a School Boy or College Student and you fall in Love with your Teacher, Please come back after Ten Years or so.


* Since Loving here is like Playing Splinter Cell, so use the Camoflauge of Innocense, Move Alongside with the Wall of Confidence, Always Move in the Shadows of Trust.
Despite all of these Measures, if you get Caught, Plead Insanity.

Note : I'll make one thing Clear, By Girl Seekers, I am not mentioning some Heartless, Mannerless Monsters who live to Bother Girls, they Don't Respect the Girls so they can Go to Hell for all I care.
These Girl seekers I mentioned here only get beaten while searching for Love of their Life, instead they end up with Lumps of their Life.

Thanks for Reading, Hope you Enjoyed it.

Peace and Love.

What Really is Love ?

Hi ! Lets Talk about Love.
From the First Day this Universe was made, From Adam and Eve, There is a Special thing called Love.
We See Love everyday, We Feel it everyday but many of us don't even know that.
So what Really is Love ?
Is it the name of Relationship between two people ?
Is it just the Touch ?
Is it just the Feeling ?

Not Exactly, Love is Much Bigger than that.
Though Love has many Forms But the kind I wanna discuss right now is
Romeo and Juliet kind of Love.







Since I am a Guy so I'll write this from a Guy's Perspective.
I am writing this for our Romeos, I wanna tell 'em what Love Really is all About.

So lets see to it now.

Love a Mix of many things :

* Love  is the commitment for a Life time.
* Sense of her being Around you gives you a satisfaction of being complete.
* Her Presence give you a Solid Base for your Life.
* You Remain Surrounded by Beautiful Feelings.
* You Always Take Care of her.
* You Stand Like a Stone Wall between Her and the Harm coming her Way, take all the Damage yourself but don't let One Scratch on Her.
* You are Always there for Her in the Time of Need (That Doesn't Include Bed Tea and Breakfast, just kidding).
* You Don't tell her that She is Hot, You Tell her that She is Beautiful.


If you can do this, you can Really Experience the Feelings of Love.
Love is such a Beautiful Thing to Have.

Thanks for Reading.

Peace and Love.

Homeless/Orphan kids, Where Should these Poor Souls Go ?

Hi ! Before I start talking about what is on my Mind, If I have any Suggestion about these matters etc. I wanna show you something.

First I wanna let you know how many Orphan kids live around in the world.
An Estimate shows there there are about 100 Million Orphan kids live around the world.


But these are just Orphans, lets see some other Facts :

12 million children die before reaching their fifth year 
100 million homeless children living in the streets around the world.
250,000 children die every week from diseases and malnutrition.
2 million children are objects of sexual abuse - child pornography and demand for child prostitutes has increased globally.
20 million children are refugees or internally displaced in their homeland.
10 million children are child slaves
Millions of girls are ‘missing’ as a result of foeticide, infanticide and neglect.
{Taken from Here, with Thanks.}


Now come to think of it, How Big is the Rate of Reproduction ?
People Keep Reproducing the Children without thinking how to feed them,
sure everyone loves their children but Isn't there a Little Selfish Spark in this ?
We Love OUR Children, We Keep Bringing new Children in this world but we don't Agree on Adopting a Homeless/Orphan Child.
My Question is, WHY ?


People say that they wanna keep their Blood/Family Line going, Then What ?
At some Point, there won't be any Trace of those Blood/Family Lines.
What will be the use of all this Non Sense Struggle ?

Some people may start Hating me that this Guys is Talking about Destroying Family System.
But I am only talking about filling a Vital Space in some Poor Kid's Life.
If She/He Finds a Family, She/He may Grow up as a better person, otherwise She/He may grow up
as a Criminal if nothing Else.
If you have one of your own Child, Adopt one of these Poor Kids, Your Family is Complete.
If you are gonna have only one Child and Your Heart is Exceptionally Big, then Adopt one.

Having Blood Relation with your Children isn't Important.Whats Important, is Love.
All you need is Love.
So Please Consider what I just said, this may Save a Life from being Wasted.

When you are Adopting some kid, Don't let their Religion / Race bother you.
It doesn't matter, they are just Kids.
Have a Broader Vision, you are not doing anything Wrong.
You are just saving some Lives.

Thanks For Reading.

Peace and Love.

My Close Relations in Real Life.

There are certain people in your Life that you can never forget.
No matter how hard you try, their faces keep coming in front of your eyes.

Even if I faced a lot of Racism and problems in my Life, I also received Love from the Persons I am gonna discuss now.


Mum's Side :
Grand Father (R.I.P), Kindest Soul I've ever known.
They were 4 Brothers, Now 3.
I am very Close to the Youngest one, I call him Naughty Grandpa.  : )

Grandma (R.I.P), I was her Little Prince  : )
Mum's Sisters, Great, Loving, Caring.Words Simply can't Express.

Mum's Brother and Family.They Don't live in our Country but I like 'em alot 'casue they are very Loving.
And this Aunt of mine is the Sweetest, Kindest one there is.
My Respect for her is Endless.  : )

Mum's Youngest Brother, The Most Handsome and Generous Person of the Family.

--------------------------------------------------------

Father's Side :
Grand Mother (R.I.P), She loved me like a Duck watches over her chicks.
Grandpa passed away when I wasn't even born.

Father's sister and Family.Yeah, Got a lot of Love from there.
A Special Sister, She isn't my Sister by Blood but she took care of me when I was little like I was her own Brother.


--------------------------------------------------------

Larger than Life : Now there is a Person, I'll never Forget.
He isn't Related to me by Blood but if anyone can get unlimited Respect from me, its him.
In these times of Selfishness, He was there for me in many times of Need.
I call him THE BEST UNCLE.

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Cousins :
I have many if I combine them from both sides, Mum and Father's, closely related, Distant cousins.
But very Few of them are in Solid with me.And I mean it when I say, VERY FEW.

A Special but Crazy Girl : Though she isn't my cousin but she feels like one.Always Encouraging me.A sincere person.

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Friends :
Whats there to Write ? I only have 3 of them in whole country.
But we have a lot of Differences, they may feel offended if they read this
but Truth is Truth, we can't hide it.


May write about some Individuals separately later.


Despite all of the people that have/had been in my Life, there is a Space that needs to be Filled inside me.
Someone told me that I need a Solid Base to Stand on, if I wanna continue my Struggle.
But what if someone Looses Interest in Life ?
Whats the Point in carrying on ?
Maybe someday I'll Find the Answers to these Questions.


Thanks for Reading.

Peace and Love.

Lets Familiarize

Hi ! Greetings to the people from all around the world.

First thing's First, Lets find out why in the world am I interested in World matters  now a days.
Why I hate Racism/Hate/Stereotypes etc ?

Here is a brief Description of my Appearance.
Complexion : Bright
Eyes : Blue
Hair : Turn Brown when they are dry and fluffy and a little Golden in the Front Side.  :D
Build : Athletic

They say that a person better knows about something if that has happened to him.
If an Individual Experiences something him/herself, he/she can understand it better than those who haven't.
As for me I've been experiencing Racism since I was a child.

When I was a Child, I was afraid to go out to avoid being mocked.
Generally, I am a Loving an Caring person so I was kind to others but turned out that people weren't interested in these things, So they Mocked me, always called me Irritating names targeting my Color and Complexion.
Result wasn't pretty, I got the Inferiority Complex.
Tried to make Friends but they turned out to be the Racist too.
Tried to Manipulate me, Mentally Tortured me, Never once they were kind to me.
I didn't learn a bit from that, I kept going on with them, I was almost Destroyed.
Why ???
Because sooner or later, each and everyone spitted the hatred out, telling me how they hate me being different.

I Have only 3 Friends in the whole Country, 1 of them is like a little brother rather than a friend.
But as for online Friends, I have many.  : )

1st Stroke of Badluck :
When I passed my 3rd Grade, I was made to leave school to get Religious Education.
In that period of my life, I was very unlucky, instead of finding kind teachers, I got Racist ones.
I was physically and Mentally Tortured in that period 'cause I won't comply.
I still haven't forgotten that.
Note : I don't hate Religion, it was my luck that I found Racist Teachers.
I'll leave this one here for a while, will discuss it in a separate post after a while.

School :
School was a better Time, I made many Friends there so I faced Less problems.
I have many things to tell about this period too, and I will.
I just need some time.  : )

College:
When I got Admission in the College, I thought this was my big break but that turned out to be a Nightmarish Experience.
I was Friendly but I got labeled as a Proud one.
I was a Better Soccer Player, but I was always chosen at the end.
Being Mocked in my class was worst 'cause I had Different Color and Complexion.

One day I asked one of them, "Why do You Hate me ?"
He said : "You are white".
I asked : "But there are some other white people here"
He replied : "Sure, but they Don't look like Americans or Europeans".
I asked one Last Question : "Is that a Crime that I am like this ?"
He said : "Why not ?"
I finished my conversation there thinking that there is no use reasoning with them, better Stay Firm, Even If I had to do that Alone till the End of the Term.

You must be thinking, with all these problems, What is Holding this Person Together ? Spit and Grit ?
No, I made some Time in my Life to do some Crazy things.
With the help of all those Memories, I live my Life, Hope that Tomorrow will be a better day.
I'll discuss them in separate posts, you'll find some Funny, some of them will be Dark though.

So As a Conclusion, I can say that Events of my own life made me realize how Ghoulish Racism and Hate is.
 Even when we do this as a joke, we should think about the consequences of our actions on others' lives.
And beware, This may come back to bite us in the face someday.

I am Deeply Concerned about the current situation of the world and I have some suggestions regarding different Matters, I'll write them down as well.

Thank you for Reading with so much Patience.
Please keep in Touch.

Warm Wishes, Peace and Love.